How to Quit Porn: 5 Steps to a Stronger, More Galvanized You

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Every man with a solid pornography habit reaches a stage when the dream of free-to-access hard-core porn peaks, wanes, and then begins to sharply descend into a nightmare.

Some men can just stop without bother, perhaps these guys weren’t watching porn on a weekly or daily basis, but the reality is that for many guys porn is highly addictive.

In fact, heavy use of pornography has neural effects that are very similar to cocaine.

5 Great Reasons to Quit Porn

Given that Western culture is sexually saturated, pornography acts as the last station in a world of temptation.

A Culture of Porn

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Pop videos circulate at the gym, reducing music to metronome thuds to which pop-stars dance around all but naked in choreographies that simulate sex.

Television is packed full of beautiful women in dramas, and hardcore sex acts are used as the punchline in countless comedy shows and stand-up routines.

Sex holds an element of the taboo, and as so much of our culture needs to be risqué to satisfy our lack of wonder toward the real world, art and music, if you can call it that now, forever aims to become more risqué to get your attention.

This has become the case to such an extent that we expect softcore porn in music videos now. But would you expect softcore porn at a book reading, or orchestra?

We can see how far popular music has fallen when we look at it this way.

Lost Modern Men

All of this sexual teasing creates deep desire in a man who is unenlightened.

Pornography becomes the place to let out the pent-up energy.

More so, it also becomes the place to relieve the stress of work, single life, or a relationship.

The only problem is that porn is a black hole.

It may begin as an intoxicating, stress reliever, but it soon begins to drive out passion in other areas of your life.

Escalation

Internet porn is unbelievably diverse, there is so much to watch in so many genres that it is very, very easy to ‘escalate’.

Escalation is the term used for watching ever-harder material in your porn sessions as you look for the more risqué scene that will get you the same feeling as the original high you had when porn was a new phenomenon to you.

50 Amazing Reasons to Quit Porn

This obviously leads men to view things they may not even be sexually attracted to.

There are many tales on porn forums of heterosexual men who began watching straight male-female one-on-one sex, and ended up watching mass orgies, bi-sexual, transgender and even gay porn.

Put simply, we are just not wired to cope with the hyper-stimulation modern tube-site pornography offers.

Erectile Dysfunction and Performance

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Many men are becoming more interested in the consistent novelty of porn over their partners, leading to major issues in the bedroom

Gary Wilson, a scientist and founder of the website Your Brain On Porn, has found that the average guy sees as many naked women in one porn watching session as his ancestors did in their whole lifetime!

That is an insane finding.

The most famous ramification of this has been the dreaded porn-induced erectile dysfunction, more commonly known as ‘PIED’.

Increasingly, young men are finding they cannot get, or stay, erect when in the presence of a real naked woman.

Their minds have been so hijacked by the huge levels of dopamine released in porn watching sessions that one naked woman is nowhere near enough to get them turned on.

Why Men Need to Quit Porn

We now begin to see a picture forming of why so many guys are turning their backs on porn and trying to quit.

Below are some common reasons:

  • It is part of a shallow culture which cheapens sex
  • It makes other activities and passionless enjoyable
  • You can easily escalate
  • You can easily get sexual performance issues

Despite the culture we live in not helping, a man can never blame externals for his position in life.

Therefore, even though the odds are stacked against you, that is only all the more opportunity to transcend your current abilities and master yourself by not succumbing to the whims of your sexual desires and a culture which uses you.

By quitting porn, you learn first-hand the skills you must attain.

You make errors that bring you ever closer to the fires of craving, you make moves into overconfidence and the false pride of the ego which leaves you stunned when you relapse.

All of this is training.

If you continue the journey of quitting porn, you begin to master your very ego, as well as the fires of anxiety, stress and lust.

This is the road to the balanced man who cannot be bullied by the outside world.

Quitting Porn is NOT Easy

The problem men are finding once they realize porn is a huge net negative, rather than positive, is that you cannot just stop.

Porn has become a massive coping mechanism for men around the world and it functions exactly as a drug does.

This is why I have written this piece.

I have personally quit several addictions, porn being one, and worked with many guys who want to cease addictive behaviour.

The 5 steps I outline below work.

The only requirement from you is that you must really be prepared to quit porn, look at yourself deeply and be willing to show honesty and grit.

1: Accept You Cannot Beat the Cravings

If you are reading this piece you will know that you cannot just stop watching porn.

The behaviour is deeply wired into your neural programming with the ecstasy of orgasm.

Therefore, you need to accept you cannot face this alone.

Accepting you need help with this is the admission you are human. Once this is established you are free to transcend your current abilities – these are limited to your willpower and grit.

At this point you need to write a letter to yourself.

In said letter you need to explain why you’re quitting porn, what benefits that offers and who you are going to become without it in your life.

This letter will come in handy when cravings come down the line.

2: Become Accountable

The next stage is powering up your recovery with the assistance of forces greater than you can muster.

This can be in the form of therapy, friends, ‘No-fap’ groups, support groups and so forth.

The most vital thing is that you’re completely honest with someone about your porn use and problem.

People will not be nearly as judgemental as you may think.

Even more so, the power of being honest decays pain and struggling. In speaking to others you take the power from your obsessive porn use.

A key part of becoming accountable is in handing over the reigns.

If so possible, you should block adult material at a router level, handing over your access credentials and email account to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist, etc.

Further, a big help in quitting pornography can be Covenant Eyes.

Covenant Eyes monitors all your internet use, and while it doesn’t actively block porn, it does send a report to a person of your choosing if you access adult material on any of your devices.

It’s a VERY helpful tool and a great way to commit to accountability.

3: Explore Life Stressors

Understanding what makes you so prone to needing pornography in your life means you can take immediate action in lessening those stressors.

Whether it is stress from work or a relationship, trauma issues from childhood, an anxiety disorder or a broader sex addiction, you must locate and understand your inner workings.

This is also a deeply powerful exercise in self-growth.

Ending Emotional Pain: How to Turn Suffering into Strength  

To conquer any habit or addiction, transcending your previous limits is essential.

You can only do this if you know the things you must change and the demands you must meet.

Say you have a pathological fear of abandonment developed in childhood experiences, there is no way you can meaningfully quit porn and grow as a man unless you deal with this issue at source.

You must learn to self-reflect on your experiences and emotional states, and become brave enough to share these experiences with others.

Very often, when men begin dealing with internal issues they find cravings reduce, and long traps emotions arise.

Allow this process to happen. Something more powerful than you is happening.

4: Create a Meticulous Timetable  

As well as tackling the emotional issues laid out above, you must also begin to deeply familiarise yourself with your physical existence.

Addictive porn use stems from lost time in the day.

When you have nothing to hold you, something else will.

Goal Setting: An Action Plan for the Most Important Element of Personal Development

Therefore, when you are attempting to quit pornography you need to carefully plan your day so there is no lost time.

If there are gaps between work/study time in the day, you need to fill them.

There are a million great things you can do: start running, kick-box, learn an instrument, go for walks, go to concerts, meet friends, play sport, watch sport, go to a gallery, learn to dance, learn French and so on.

How to Unlock Your Masculine Core

Again, these activities are not just keeping you free from your laptop and porn, but they are also growing you as a person.

This is what all recovery is about: growing into a better man in the effort to stay clear of time you could be acting out in addiction.

5: Have a Life Vision

In a way, the very act of quitting porn is laying out a life vision for yourself already.

You have seen a behaviour that brings you pain and you have been through an intellectual process defining abstinence of the better option for you.

You know that you can be a better man without porn, but what else do you want to achieve?

If you are making strides towards a much stronger version of yourself with quitting porn, why stop there?

Once you have begun this journey the potential is limitless.

It’s ample opportunity to take yourself to the next level and take a pen and paper and write down 10 things you want to achieve in a year, followed by you vision and purpose on this earth as a man.

Such a vision orients you to becoming a constantly improving version of you.

In time, quitting porn becomes the catalyst for immense growth way beyond what it originally was.

As you begin that journey, check out the below piece:

What is the Meaning of Life? How to Find Your Way with Viktor Frankl?

Author: Richard Joy

My mission is to get you out of the depths of despair, addiction and pain as we as men strive to conquer fear, grow spiritually and build ourselves physically, emanating strength, grit and determination. Having been lost in the punishing spiral into hell myself, witnessing men around me die in addiction, obsession and pain, I have found the way out by walking the path of spiritual discipline, inner masculine truth and learning from men of wisdom in the spirit of humility.

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