3 Reasons Why You Must Kill The Inner Victim

colossal insights how to be a man

Playing the victim will destroy your life, mental health and love life.

This is something every boy must deal with to become a man.

And something every man has to manage in his day-to-day life.

The inner victim is so insidious because it talks in your own voice.

It tells you people are against you, that you shouldn’t have to ‘man-up’, that the world is unfair…

What’s Wrong With Saying ‘Man-Up’ Anyway?

Playing the victim comes to a man with the voice of comfort and constraint.

It tells him his shitty life situation is his parents fault for not raising him right, society’s fault for being so oppressive, capitalism’s fault for being so brutal.

Yet there is no greater truth than this:

Whatever your life situation, playing the victim will only serve to destroy you.

This is simple: playing the victim destroys your perception of reality.

Just as the sun illuminates all objects on earth, your internal narrative dominates your inner sky and thereby shines a light only on what you believe to be true, not what is true.

If we are trapped in a victim, as opposed to an opportunity, mentality, reality is full of threats, obstacles and danger, never chances for growth.

Below are three ways to quit playing the victim and take your throne as a man who is at one with life:

1: Quit Whining and Deal With Your Issues Properly

How to have a great pain free life

Let’s get it straight:

There’s no shame in being honest about being traumatized by life experiences.

There is shame in doing nothing about it.

However terrible your experiences have been, if left to fester, they will grow like a cancer and consume you.

Ending Emotional Pain: How to Turn Suffering into Strength

Do not let the internal narrative of being ‘wounded’ or ‘sensitive’ get to you.

It is a narrative that has reached far beyond the confines of the individual in this day and age, with seemingly every group in society defining some special treatment for being hurt in some way.

This may work for some, but such folly is highly destructive to a man’s integrity.

We are born warriors, not mice.

Men: What the F*** is Going On!? 

For a meaningful life of strength, emotional balance and peace you simply must take responsibility for your life.

A victim cannot do this.

Victims define themselves by pain.

A man defines himself by fighting for a noble cause.

And guess what? A noble cause is sorting yourself out.

There are support groups, therapists, counselors, spiritual groups, religious services, spiritual practices, gyms, friends, mentors, books and internet forums out there for you to deal with your past issues.

Note the word above: deal.

As a man seeking to grow into the best version of himself, you do not seek to whine, you seek to learn, grow and explore your inner trauma to breathe the air with all the more clarity and courage.

That is to deal with your past.

Sitting in therapy and whining doesn’t help you, it just costs you money.

Just as posting in an online forum trying to outdo the next person with your victim one-upmanship harms you more than anyone else.

You are on a mission to get better.

Your family needs that, your society needs that, you need that.

While I can sympathize through personal experience that trauma therapy can be extremely frightening, it is the way to growth.

What waits for us if we do not seek to grow beyond victimization and pain is much, much worse.

2: Work With Your Hardship, Never Against It

How to use negative for positive
Jimi Hendrix faced immense hardship yet worked with his difficulties thereby maximizing his potential

Jimi Hendrix was born into near poverty at a time of real and dangerous racial prejudice.

Not only did Hendrix not complain that he was too poor to purchase a guitar, when he got the chance he played friend’s guitars that were for right-handers despite being left-handed.

This tenacity to follow a passion despite obvious constraints allowed Hendrix to produce a cosmically unique sound with highly original chord progressions.

He became the most famous and fabled guitarist of all time.

Another great example is ex-drug smuggling junkie and now Harley St Therapist Mark Dempster who I interviewed recently:

Mark has led a crazy life of poverty, riches, drug smuggling and using, homelessness and eventually psychotherapy.

Instead of bemoaning the conditions he grew up in as unfair, or cursing the world for being an addict, he worked with his difficulties to become one of the UK’s top authorities on addiction.

Along with Russell Brand and Kiss FM founder Tosca Jackson, Mark is also starting a radio show focussed on recovery from addiction.

Whether it is Jimi Hendrix, Mark Dempster or whoever, the principal is the same:

Whatever life throws at you, work with it to your fullest and see where it takes you.

If we do not do this, whether addicts or not, we are lambs to the slaughter.

3: Stand Apart from the Culture of ‘Virtue-Signalling’ and Offense-Taking

In universities across the West today, you can see some of the most privileged kids in the world taking on the mantle of the oppressed, or feigning to speak for persecuted or oppressed groups.

While I would never condone actual oppressed people expressing their right to be heard and their struggle for change, there is a strange storm brewing within that sphere of society at present.

The essence of moving free from victimhood is in sorting out yourself before you lecture the world on how it should behave.

It is something I have personal experience of having studied an MA in Cultural Studies.

Here I fell victim to a unique brand of hard-left Marxism that seeks to tear down society as we know it.

The world through these eyes is merely a power game of oppressed / oppressor.

Men dominate women, the West dominates the East, and so on…

I foresee this trend (and the opposite response to it) growing – we can already see this in politics – yet I offer you a forewarning: it may seem attractive to view oneself as a victim of buy in to victim culture by virtue of being a minority, an addict, or even a man, yet this will be a severely detrimental move to your life.

The essence of moving free from victimhood is in sorting out yourself before you lecture the world on how it should behave.

In this climate of hysteria, hyperbole, and emotions, sticking to your own self-progression and letting others talk is a highly powerful skill and one that will stand you in good condition for the long-term.

Don’t let people turn you into a victim. 

Have faith in yourself, belief in your abilities, and you will get where you want to be.

Author: Richard Joy

My mission is to get you out of the depths of despair, addiction and pain as we as men strive to conquer fear, grow spiritually and build ourselves physically, emanating strength, grit and determination. Having been lost in the punishing spiral into hell myself, witnessing men around me die in addiction, obsession and pain, I have found the way out by walking the path of spiritual discipline, inner masculine truth and learning from men of wisdom in the spirit of humility.

Leave a Reply